Final Moments

That is the title of the first vignette I wrote for my English teacher. I have to write four more by Monday.

Today, April 27, 2012, my bird died. She was fine when I got home, and then I looked over at her and she was on the bottom of her cage. My mom forced some water into her mouth and tried feeding her. I kept blaming myself, thinking "It's because I forgot to get her fresh food and water. It's all my fault." I didn't say it out loud, of course. Even so, my mom kept saying, "You were an excellent mommy. This wasn't your fault."

I kept thinking to myself, "Please, just shut up! I want to blame myself! Then I feel better! Then I can openly say I'm never getting another pet again. If I blamed myself I could go on in life. That's how I went on after George(my 2nd hamster) died.

At the same time I was thinking to myself: "Why can't I be Lana? I'd give anything to be Lana! Let me have a healing touch!" (GONE by Micheal Grant reference) I didn't want her to die. I loved her. I had tried over and over to get her to talk. I loved her so much.

When my mom was holding Alice and I left the room to move her cage to the workout room where the heater was(they believe she caught a cold from the sudden weather change) she let out a sound. She knew I had left and didn't like it. When I came back my mom placed her on a blue washcloth and told me to hold her. I thought of the last bird I held like this. I held her in her final moments as she died. I had cried for her, and I was close to crying for Alice. A few tears actually managed to escape the barrier I set up.

When she died I went to my room to write my vignette. I want to add a poem at the end. A haiku. I'm going to write one for her. She was my baby, and in her final moments she wanted no one more than her mommy.

I love Alice, and my stepdad bought three Lily plants to put around where they buried her. The lily is my favorite flower, and my mom knew it. He picked out three pretty colors that had yet to bloom. They're all going to bloom around my baby. My Alice. I would say she's in a better place, but I'm atheist. I don't believe there's anything after death. I won't until I find proof.

-Melody
     -This is Me
          -Who Are You

An Act of Kindness

Okay, so you may have noticed that I didn't post over the weekend, nor did I post Monday. Odds are that I won't post on weekends, as it'll be my big break. I'll probably only post on a weekend if I missed a day the previous week. So, if I can, I'll post to make up for Monday. The simple reason that I didn't make a post for Monday is because I had company. The people that came over enjoy playing Gears of War with my stepdad, and if you lag them you ask for punishment. So, yeah, Blogger's out of the question on those nights.

So, today we started putting together links for Rachel's Challenge. We basically wrote down something kind we did or something kind that someone else did for us. So, why don't we make that the theme of this blog post?

Something kind I did for someone...

There is this girl in my science and gym class. I didn't really have people to talk to, so I started a conversation with her. No big deal. Okay, I'm lying. Starting a conversation with anyone is a big deal.
The reason I see this as an act of kindness? I learned later that she went to a different middle school than almost everyone else in the high school. So, she knew very few people. I was the first person to talk to her since she left her old school.

Now, if you want something kind that someone did for me...

I was the "new girl" in the intermediate school. I knew NO ONE. I was lost, alone, and, quite frankly, scared. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go back to Texas and return to home schooling. I didn't belong in a public school.
I still went to class. I still got up every morning. Yet at lunch every day, I sat alone. One girl at a large table. People sat with me once, but that's only because a set of guys stole their table. Other than that, I went back to being alone.
One day, two girls walked up to me. "My friend told us you're new," one said. And they introduced themselves. Then they returned to their table. That one greeting made my day.
Later on that week(or was it the next week?) one of them asked me if I wanted to sit with them. I accepted. Sitting with people I didn't know was better than sitting alone. That lunch period was extremely happy for me.
The next day I was ushered over again, and I sat with them. I was so happy that they had offered me to sit with them. And, before I knew it, I was looking forward to lunch.

Now, the people at the table may have forgotten the entire thing, or they may think "No big deal." But to me, the new girl from way down south, it was a big deal. And that's why, even though I left the table so I could sit with my friend from Science, I always look back fondly at that moment where I was invited to sit with them.

Now, why don't you tell me something kind either you did for someone or that someone did for you? That's this posts goal. It's completely optional, but I'd love for you to participate in it like I would love you to participate in all my other posts.

-Melody
        -This is ME
                   -Who Are You?

I am HERE

I know that my free-write blog isn't well known, and it's obvious that I won't get a lot of readers right away. I know I may not make a difference for millions like Anne Frank or Rachel Scott. But I want to try to make a difference for at least one.

Today we went to an assembly where we learned about Rachel Scott and Rachel's challenge. I even signed a banner for it(though I can't remember which "C" I put my name in). But that assembly inspired me to make a accept the challenge. Yet I want to create my own way to make a difference, whether to millions or just one person. So, I think I'll write my ideas on this blog almost as if it were a journal. I know I can't easily get my ideas to Ocean Township High School, where I am currently enrolled as a Freshman, but I do know that I can get them somewhere. And perhaps the person in that place is open to hearing my ideas.

This is a small request I have for those who are viewing this blog at any time. It doesn't matter whether it is right after the blog is posted or ten years after it is posted. But please, take the time to do this. If you are reading this blog, post "I am Here" with anything else you want to post. You can post insults if you want, but I won't remove them or talk down to you about how hurtful it can be to some people. You can also post words of advice and what you think I did well in this post. But know that it also isn't mandatory. I have no controll over what you do or don't do. I have no controll and will not look down upon you if I ever meet you and learn that you did not do it. I have no controll over you and neither does anyone else. Embrace that and accept it.
Every post of mine will have a theme like this. I'd enjoy seeing who is willing to go along with the theme. ^.^

Thank you for listening to my blog so far. I am so glad that you took the time to read this. You have no idea how much joy this brings that someone is reading it. Even if you don't post "I am Here," I won't mind. I'll still have joy because somewhere inside of me, I'll know that someone is posting.

Oh, one more thing. If you want to post something that you think would be an interesting topic, send me a message or leave a comment. I know my next topic will be regrets, but the rest is up to you. ^.^

-Melody
-This is ME